is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
