There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
