Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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