Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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