I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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