i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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