toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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