he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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