some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
