Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm at about main and main street
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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