I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
