just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
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