My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
