she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
