Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Only a mothe r could love this liver
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize