Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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