Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
