I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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