He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
