now i know why i became what i already was.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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