dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize