...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
