its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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