I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
