I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
