He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
