That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hippo gnu deer
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
