The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
