Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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