think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize