Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
