I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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