I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
