I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
