So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
