i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
