He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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