Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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