Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
