For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Found your dick twin last night
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
