i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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