She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
