ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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