I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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