if i died would you start the facebook group?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
