So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Someone stole a lamp last night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize