i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
