Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
