Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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