You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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