The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
