I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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