Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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