there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
