Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
