We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
