I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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