he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
