I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You left your phone here
Wait...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
