i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize