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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Call meee

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.

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• (949): View more from California

  I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?

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• (713): View more from Texas

  He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.

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• (805): View more from California

  We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Hey Girl, we got home safe!

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  I know, I drove you

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